Put away those pliers honey - trust me, cause I know the options
Recent Success in War on Terror, Hispanic Support Doubled |
April 2008 |
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For three straight weeks teams of new recruits from the south have been sent in to "cushion the load" for the upcoming US invasion. Rounds of defeat seemed disheartening until very recently. When asked about Mexican success in the Sunwell, US Army General Plastique refused to comment, but was later found to have stated that such quick success was "surprising". A wounded member of a previous invasive attempt stated that the new addition of enchilada and cheese MREs were particularly morale-raising. Although we are unsure of all that goes on in the military machine, we do have word that scouts have been sent further into the plateau to verify the existence weapons of mass destruction, especially after finding remnants of aluminium tubes and yellow cake, both historically known to be reagents of things that go boom. Our hopes and prayers now go out to the brave members of the Alpha and Bravo squadrons, lead by First Lieutenants Ratholorn(Rabia Gringo) and Midi(Chico), so affectionately named by their comrades. We at CNN would like to remind you that the units of the Mexican Army are completely supported by the US Military, and provided with everything they need to make a difference. If you would like to contribute to the cause, purchase a 100,000,000 Peso war bond (US $50 equivalent) at your local bank so that one day these troops can be further strengthened by shoes, uniforms, weapons, and ammunition provisions. Remember fellas and gals, if you don't support our troops, you are a commie bitch, and deserve to die. Never question, always follow, and for God's sake don't vote for Hillary.
CNN News Reporter |
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